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Smash Into You

Davi

“You have a meeting with Corey about potential models for the male collection in about an hour. Your schedule’s clear after that.”

“Sounds good. Thank you, Shanna,” I said, but my focus never left my iPad screen. I was hit with an idea for a bomb leather jacket, and  I needed to finish the sketch before it left me. I continued working, but felt a presence in the room and realized Shanna was still standing at my office door. I looked up at her, and she was wearing a concerned expression that made me frown a little.

“Was there something else?” I asked politely.

Her face softened, but the worry was still in her eyes.

“Maybe you could take off after the meeting… get some rest or just relax. You’ve done nothing but work for the last couple of months.”

I gave her a soft smile. “I may do just that,” I said, even though I planned to stay until I had some of the pieces finalized.

I could tell by her barely noticeable pout that she didn’t believe me, but she dropped the matter and quietly left my office.

I let out a sigh of relief because I wasn’t in the mood to debate with Shanna or anyone else about my self-care. Shanna, my best friend Jess, and my Nan had been preaching to me about taking time off in the last couple of months, but I ignored all of them. None of them understood how important this collection was to me, not only because it was my first male clothing line, but because it was inspired by and in honor of my first and only love.

It had been five years since I lost Joseph, but it almost always felt like it happened just yesterday. I had accomplished so much in the past five years, but this line trumped it all. It had to be perfect.

I placed my stylus down and admired my work. I had finally finished the sketch and it was so amazing… it was so him.

 Joseph and I met during my freshman year of college and connected almost instantly. Some people thought we moved too fast, but they just didn’t understand how tight our bond grew during that year,

A sweet baby boy resulted from our love, but Joseph never got to meet him, because he and his family were killed in a car crash before I gave birth. His death broke me in ways that I had never imagined possible, and I felt like a piece of me died with Joseph, and all I could do was work hard so that our amazing little boy, Joseph Carver the second, or Two, as I called him, could live a fantastic life.

At just four years old, my baby was already reading, writing, and speaking way better than I was at his age. I knew that he got his intelligent mind from his father, and because he was so advanced, I had been homeschooling him. My mother and my Nan kept bothering me about getting him into school so that he could interact with other children but was still on the fence about it.

Two was my everything, and I would never forgive myself— Joseph would never forgive me—if I let anything happen to him. I knew I was overprotective, but I felt I could get away with it for a few more years.

Speaking of my baby…

I quickly saved the file and looked around my office, realizing my son wasn’t in the room with me.

I rose from the seat behind my desk and walked out into my boutique. It was pretty quiet, so I figured there weren’t many shoppers. It was a weekday, so it wasn’t surprising— I was sure we would be busy after five o’clock. I walked over to the checkout counter and peeked behind it.

“He was just up here but threw his ball too far out. A second ago, he was laughing with one of the customers,” Justice, my store manager, said.

My heartbeat quickened at her words. I didn’t need my son to be friendly with strangers. Justice must have noticed my expression.

“Relax, Davi. He’s okay; I’ve been watching him. He’s right behind that clothes rack,” Justice said.

I took off in the direction of the dresses that she pointed at.

“Two? Two! Where did you go?” I called.

“I’m right here, Momma.” Seconds later, Two was running toward me with his football in hand. I smiled at my little man and bent down, waiting on him to make it to me. When he did, he gave me a bright smile, looking just like his daddy.

“You were looking for me?” he asked and hugged me tightly.

I hugged him back, then took his football away so that I could observe his face and body to make sure he was okay.

“I was. Momma missed you, Sweet Boy,” I said and nuzzled his face.

He giggled. “I was just gone for some minutes, Momma,” he said, making me laugh.

I was about to stand up, but the voice I heard next stopped me in my tracks.

“Ma, I gave you fifteen minutes. Let’s go.”

I stood, slowly turned toward the voice, and immediately closed my eyes before opening them again.

Nope. This isn’t real.

I had to be seeing things. The football fell from my fingers as I used them to cover my mouth. This just couldn’t be.

Standing in front of me was JoAnna Carver, a woman who was supposed to be dead, and behind her was the man whose voice I had just heard. The man I saw in my dreams every night for the last five years. The man who still owned my heart.

“Joseph?” I said.

I couldn’t tear my eyes away from him, but his eyes were on my son—our son—until I called his name.

“Yes, ma’am?” my son responded.

I wiped a tear that had fallen and glanced down at my son. He was frowning, likely because I had just called his full name, and I only did that when I was getting onto him about something. Little did he know, I wasn’t talking to him.

“Davi.” Joseph finally said, which made me look back up at him.

I was sure that I had to have been dreaming. Joseph and his mother JoAnna had died in a car crash. My father told me himself; I had their death certificates; I released their ashes into the ocean…

I closed my eyes and shook my head a few times. Once I opened them again, JoAnna and Joseph were still standing there. I needed to touch him. If this was real, I needed to confirm it. I needed to know that I wasn’t going completely insane. I took a step toward them, but Joseph stepped back, making me stop in my tracks. I looked into his eyes, which were empty of emotion. I searched his entire face, and it was tense. It reminded me of the Joseph I first met at Trudale University, who walked around with his guard up. The Joseph I knew before I made my way into his heart.

“Sweet Boy,” JoAnna said, making this moment even more real for me. It was because of her that I called my son the same thing. I watched as he looked at her and then back at me. His eyes eventually traveled behind me to our son. I had forgotten that Two was standing there and witnessing all this. Finally, Joseph looked back at me and shook his head.

“I can’t do this,” he said, just above a whisper before turning around and storming out of the store.

I opened my mouth to call after him, but JoAnna held her hand up.

“Let him go. I think you and I should talk, though. Is there somewhere we can go?” she asked.

I opened my mouth to speak a few times, but nothing would come out, so I just waved my arm in the direction of my office and turned toward it before grabbing my son’s hand and making my way there.